Disaster Emergency Management is an important cornerstone of the national governance system and capacity building, maintaining long-term stability and stability in economic and social development, and realizing the "Chinese Dream" and the "Two Centenary Goals", it is also a strategic deployment for the socialist system with Chinese characteristics to be more consolidated and its superiority to be fully displayed. Based on this, in this paper, according to the governance theory and Synergetics, through questionnaire survey statistics and case data on Wenchuan, Yushu and other plateau earthquakes, the way to realize the coordination mechanism of emergency disaster relief in government-led society based on the support and guarantee system is discussed, the internal logic and realistic requirements of how and why to coordinate and how to coordinate the emergency disaster relief in destructive earthquakes are expounded, the optimization of strengthening disaster emergency management and scientifically guiding society to participate in disaster relief are proposed.